About the founder of Childfree is Not a Dirty Word
Childfree is Not a Dirty Word was founded by me, Chelsey, a 30-something year-old Canadian.
I started telling people I never wanted to be a mother from almost the moment I could talk. An old family video shows me at 5 proclaiming that I never want to have kids. Before I even truly understood the ramifications of motherhood, I knew it wasn’t for me. Yet decades later, I was still told I would change my mind.
I felt intense societal pressure to become a mother in my mid-20s. I was child-bearing age, in a steady relationship and had a career. My friends were starting to have babies and it seemed that what my ovaries were, or weren’t doing, was a topic of conversation for everyone. The words, ‘I’m not having children’ almost always set off a volley of questions and angry retorts. It was as if my decision to not have children was somehow insulting others.
I felt alone in my choice but knew there must be others like me so I searched for a community. When I couldn’t find one, I created my own. I named it Childfree is Not a Dirty Word, in reference to the way people looked at me in disbelief when I told them about my choice not to have children. The community is a haven for others who have been questioned and verbally attacked about their decision to be childfree.
The reasons we have chosen not to have children are varied- ranging from simple disinterest, to physical or mental health issues, concerns about the environment, trauma from our own childhood, and the list goes on and on. But one thing is clear, we have all put significant thought and consideration into our decision.
In true Canadian fashion, I pride myself on creating and maintaining a respectful childfree community. Hate speech and vulgar language of any kind is not tolerated. I myself have nieces and nephews who I love dearly, as well as sisters and friends who are excellent mothers. I support their choice to have children just as they support my choice not to. I think our compassionate childfree community is the reason it has grown so large (over 30,000 members and counting!)
I would love to see the day when the statement, ‘I’m childfree’ is as accepted as saying, ‘I am a parent'. We are your friends, your sisters, brothers, your nieces, nephews, your colleagues, your daughters and your sons. We come from every walk of life, and are located in every corner of the globe. Please stop dismissing us and instead, accept us as we are.
Me at 5 years-old, already declaring my childfree stance.